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The Space Toy
永遠のスペースカウボーイ
Three days, and I'm older. I'm not ready for this, but I can't figure why. I've been off to outer space, and there's so much going through my head. Maybe soon I can articulate it. It'll take a while. I'm fried, like chicken.
25 want to kisspull the trigger
One of those long-missed friends came over last night. We crawled in bed, I talked, he listened, and we fell asleep. I'm a nervous wreck. I was shaking when he came over, because I didn't want to cry anymore.

I just needed to be told it would be okay, and have someone to listen without telling me what I should be doing or what he wants me to do. I'm so tired of being pulled in so many different directions. It's hard to balance my career and what could be a relationship but isn't and even being friends with a couple people who really matter.

It's the clear split between me and Meev. He runs to Kyo, I run to Hara. We both spend our nights with other people, because we can't spend them with each other, or we're on tour and spend them with no one. I wish he'd come and stay with me when I was on the road. I did it for him once or twice, but why would I expect the favor to be returned? I know Meev understands what it's like to be lonely. And I am, right now. Lonely.

Love must be why people have so many heart attacks. It's hard on you. Taxing, stressful, and good for causing tears. I can't decide whether my heart's really broken. No, I don't think it is. I think it just has some little cracks here and there. A few bandaids, and it will be good as new.

...I still love him. So what am I going to do now? Part of me wants to talk to this Kyo guy. Another part of me is scared to do that. I don't want to fight with anyone, and he seems pretty argumentative.
10 want to kisspull the trigger
Tomorrow, I'm going to Niigata to see my space cat. I've missed him. So has my kiwi-strawberry lip gloss. I'll even wear lipstick, just to leave it on his






















collar. *smirk*

I think I've said it before, but I'm in love. And damn, it's the best feeling in the world. If I bring roses, will I have the vase thrown at me again?

Current Mood: naughty naughty

pull the trigger
Did you get your dress from Mana-sama? I want to see it. I'm excited that you're going to learn to play bass. Give me a call when you can, space cat. *makes a big fat juicy kissy noise that earns him lots of strange looks from people at the studio* Love you.

Current Mood: loved loved

4 want to kisspull the trigger
Look at all the shit they put me on. And the bottom right picture in the postcard set. Why did they use that one? It's AWFUL. They could have picked a better photo on the poster too. >.> I'm more photogenic than that! This is just a bunch of crap. >.> I can't believe some of it's sold out.

I'm proud of the single. It's my work. None of this was my idea.

ONE NIGHT SPACEY SHOW
-☆BIRTH OF DAIGO☆-

2004/7/21(wed) Shibuya O-East
open 18:00 / start 19:00

TICKET:\3,675 (税込・ドリンク代別)

5/22(sat) ON SALE!

And they're already announcing this? Chrrrrrrrrrrist.
4 want to kisspull the trigger
I knew all this work wasn't for nothing. You'll all go buy my new single, right? It's out in April. ^_^
pull the trigger
I hate that I'm so busy. I hate that I haven't had time for him. There have been too many lonely, tear-filled nights. I don't want to be around him when I'm so unhappy. It's like I'd bring him down. But without him, I'm not complete. Fuck.

Is it my fault? Is it mine for not being around enough? Is it mine for not calling? I'm scared of this. I don't connect with people like this. There's always some stepping back room. I don't have stepping back room, it's like the most beautiful car crash, leaving my heart's blood on the dashboard.

I don't want stepping back room. I want him. And I'm going to get him. Now.

Current Mood: determined determined

4 want to kisspull the trigger
>.> *sods off*
pull the trigger
All is fiction. Click here for a real journal.
pull the trigger