I hate that I'm so busy. I hate that I haven't had time for him
. There have been too many lonely, tear-filled nights. I don't want to be around him when I'm so unhappy. It's like I'd bring him down. But without him, I'm not complete. Fuck.
Is it my fault? Is it mine for not being around enough? Is it mine for not calling? I'm scared of this. I don't connect with people like this. There's always some stepping back room. I don't have stepping back room, it's like the most beautiful car crash, leaving my heart's blood on the dashboard.
I don't want
stepping back room. I want him
. And I'm going to get him. Now.
Current Mood: determined